30 Great Details: Your Best Friend

The picture above was taken way with my best friend way back in 11th grade. Yes, the huge dork on the left is me. No, I did not dress in all black on a regular basis. I was in charge of the props for 4 years for all our high school musicals (sometimes I had to run onstage to bring them on and off thus I had to dress in all black). The prop in my hands is what my best friend, Kara, and I refer to as the "creepy Blair Witch candle thing". This was taken for our high school production of Brigadoon my junior year. Kara was obviously a candle salesman/creepy witch with neon hair. This is the oldest picture I think I have of the two of us. Mostly I love it because of how ridiculous we both look. It reminds me of how awkward I was in high school, but how my best friend was kind of awkward too so it was all good.

I'd love to say Kara and I have been best friends since we were little kids, but that wouldn't be true. We went to elementary school together, rode the same bus for years, she's in all my first Communion photos standing right behind me, she lived only a couple blocks away, but somehow we did not become friends until 9th grade. When we did we became pretty fast friends. We both were huge Mets fans and I could tell more than a few stories about trips to Shea Stadium to cheer on our favorite Norwegian first baseman, John Olerud. We didn't have the same taste in TV (she loved the X Files, I loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer) or music (she loved the Monkees and They Might Be Giants, I loved Bush and the Offspring), but that made no difference. She was the friend who I reserved the best page in my Yearbook for (and who would write 2 pages worth of inside jokes that STILL make me laugh to this day to read). She was the friend I'd "talk" to on the phone every day, even when talking just meant I played the piano over the phone and she listened to me mess up or zoning out and saying nothing while flipping through the channels. She was the friend whose house I ran to when my brother and my parents were fighting so badly I couldn't take it anymore. Whenever I laugh at how silly my high school students can be I always just think of Kara and laugh. We were such goofballs and had so many ridiculous inside jokes.

Sadly, most of my college years were "pre-Facebook" and we were both lousy about keeping in touch. We'd get together maybe once a year when I returned home to NY, but no more than that. I sadly knew very little about what was going on in her life - what she was majoring in, how college was, who she was dating (the man who would one day be her husband). I hate that it took a tragedy for us to reconnect, but only after her mom passed away did we really start talking again on a regular basis.

She is now the person I can call in Charlottesville and hang up with two hours later when I'm home in Lynchburg. She's the person who inspired me to get back into long-distance running and to take up blogging. She's the friend I can call just to vent to who I know will always listen and understand, even if she doesn't agree. She's the friend I want to call right after a really good first date. She's the friend I want to call right after a really awful one. She is who I call when I need someone to talk me down from contacting my ex. Looking back at that ridiculously embarrassing photo of the two of us as teenagers or one like this of the two of us at our Senior Prom makes me feel so old.



It's crazy to think about the fact that I was the maid of honor at her wedding and gave a toast (in which I managed to incorporate both the Monkees and John Olerud) or that the next time I see her I will be meeting her little boy. Despite how creepy I look in this last picture I love it. To me it sums up how goofy and crazy we both are. We attempted to learn the Thriller Dance so we could do it at her wedding. It didn't achieve quite the same success as when Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo do it in 13 Going On 30, but we got quite a few people out of their seats! I know Kara will be there at my wedding (whenever that may be) and I can't wait to see where the next ten years of friendship take us.

Making New Friends

I realized this weekend while out to dinner with the boy and his friends how much I enjoy meeting new people. This is something that ten years ago I would never have said. I was incredibly shy and quiet all through high school. I was not the type of person who would agree to go on blind dates, or introduce myself to someone I didn't know, strike up a conversation with someone in line at the grocery store. I hated speaking in class and any/all attention drawn towards me. I had a tight group of friends and that was about it. I didn't feel the need to seek out or make new friends at any point in high school. In a lot of ways, a lot of that is true. I still have a core group of friends - whether it's my college pals, ranch friends, grad school friends - that I rely on. So much about me has changed in the last decade though.

I was trying to figure out when this change occurred. If you ask my college pals they'll tell you it was after I went skydiving in Switzerland at age 18. They swear I came back from that and was a much more effervescent and outgoing person. But when I look back I really don't think I was that different a person in college than I was in high school. I was still, in many ways, still very insecure and quiet. I still hated speaking up in class and dreaded the thought of going to a party where I knew no one.

I think my two years at the Ranch were really important and helped me gain a new sense of independence. I started to realize I could do things I never thought I could. Whether it was learning to drive a stick shift the hard way, operating a chain saw or fixing a 1/4 mile stretch of fence all by myself. I also met an insane amount of new people. I had to get along with coworkers who were very different from me. I had to take teenagers and adults out on rides and, not only teach them how to ride and make sure they arrived back at the Ranch safely, but I had to talk and entertain them for 2 1/2 hours. I look back and see a very marked change in myself after my time at the Ranch. I was more social and outgoing, but most of all, I was much more confident.

I think my first boyfriend (and consequent first heartbreak) after college was a really important experience. It sounds odd that getting your heart broken could build confidence, but I really think it did. I realized a lot about myself that has played such an important part in my relationship now. Getting dumped sucked, but it is beyond true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Now I'm living on my own and the girl who hated speaking in class does just that all day long. I've been on blind dates and done things 10 years ago Abigail would have never done. I coach track and go to dinner parties and get-togethers where I don't know anyone. And I love meeting new people! I've made good friends with the wife of one of JC's classmates in the last couple weeks. She and her husband hosted a dinner party a few weeks ago. I gave her my number 'cos I figured we were both home alone all day while our men were in school. We met up for lunch one day and had such a blast we've become great pals. I think it surprised the boy a bit last night when we met up with her and her friends and husband. Honestly, I surprise myself at how easily and how much I enjoy making new friends. I used to hate leaving places all the time 'cos I hated leaving friends behind. In fact, my friends and family can testify that when I left the Ranch to go to grad school I said something along the lines of 'I don't want to make any friends, I just want to get my degree and move on'. That's laughable now when I think about the awesome friends I made at school and how much I enjoy making new ones. It's comforting to know that wherever I go and whatever happens, I have a network of friends all around the country who have my back and I can always make new ones!

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

Bunco!!

For several months now my best teacher pal, Kendra, has invited me to serve as a substitute in her Bunco league. For those that don't know Bunco, it is a "parlor" game that involves absolutely no skill whatsoever (naturally, it is perfect for me). You roll dice and count. That's pretty much all there is to it. If you roll three ones, you get a Bunco and you shout Bunco. If it sounds simple, it's because it is. It's also a lot of fun though. The women in Kendra's Bunco league get together every 3rd Saturday of the month. It's basically like a girl's equivalent to Poker Night. They bring food, drinks (usually lots of wine!) and contribute money every month to a pot so that the winners get prizes. You can get prizes for most Buncos, first Bunco, even biggest loser (which is what I was aspiring for this week)! I filled in at Halloween and Christmas and made out like a bandit - I got wonderful bubble bath (which I used Friday night), shower gel, a picture frame and an MP3 player. Sadly, this go round I was not as lucky. They did all ask me to officially join their Bunco League though, which was quite an honor. The league is basically an excuse for all the women (most of whom are married and have kids) to get out of the house, socialize, eat and drink. I guess it's like a book club, except without all the pretending to read a book.

I was a bit awkward the very first time I went since I didn't know anyone aside from Kendra. I almost stupidly assumed I didn't have much in common with most of the women. As I said, they were all married and everybody had kids. I discovered pretty quickly how silly that was of me. Most of the ladies are in their thirties, but it's just like hanging with my big sister. They are a blast! I honestly feel like I have more in common with them than a lot of girls my age. I am at a point in my life where I am definitely thinking about the future more than I ever have before. I'm not talking marriage and babies or anything, but I do like to think about where my life is going and I enjoy hanging out with people who "have it together" and have a life I could see myself having when I am their age. These women all have careers and families. They are talented crafters and bakers, cooks, teachers, nurses and are awesome mothers. I really enjoy hanging out with them, hearing about their lives and I honestly feel like I can learn a lot from them. I don't think aside from Kendra that I would keep in touch with any of them once I leave, but it is a nice social network to have. Also, I have to mention the fact that the two women who were pregnant back at Halloween both brought their newborns, who were 8 and 10 weeks respectively. I have never been a baby person (no offense to you if you are) who "ooohs" and "aahhs" at every baby they see. I have NEVER been around babies that little before though and they just killed me, especially the little boy in his little Blues Clues onesie! I may or may not have freaked my wonderful boyfriend out a bit when I came home raving about the babies.

Regardless, I am now an official member of the Bunco League, which means every 3rd week of the month I have to make some kind of awesome party dish to serve. I guess, if nothing else, Bunco will make me a better cook. I told them I doubted I would be able to host it in my apartment, as it is pretty limited with space and anyone who is allergic to cats wouldn't be able to attend. Kendra said she could host for me, which would be perfect.

I'm very happy I went yesterday, even though it did put me behind a little bit regarding work. I woke up this morning and was very productive and finished grading my 12th grade current events assignments. They are due every Friday, but usually I get pretty behind getting them back to my students. I start coaching in a little over a week so I am trying not to get bogged down with paperwork and grading. I honestly don't know what to expect from coaching regarding the time commitment. I am looking forward to it, but am not sure I am ready. Whether I am ready or not, I'm about to dive in headfirst! I'm sure there will be many blogs in the future that will very much be a 'learning as I go' approach to coaching. Currently, I don't know what I'm coaching aside from the 400m hurdles, an event I participated in in high school, which is a great way for teams to pick up points in district meets. The problem is recruiting someone who is crazy enough to want to sprint a lap with 15 obstacles to jump over. If I can get any athletes interested it would certainly be fun to do. I know nothing about how to coach them, but that is what the internet is for, I suppose.

I'm off to do some cleaning, laundry and ironing. I have quite a bit more grading to do as all my students just turned in their notebooks and study guide Friday, which require a grade. Interim reports go out on Tuesday, so I need to stay after school Monday and make sure all that is ready. I also need to develop my lesson plans for the week. I know what I want my kids to learn this week, I just have no idea how I am going to get them there. Such is the life of a teacher, I suppose.

My question for you today is: have you ever been a part of a social club or league like Bunco? Why and when did you join?