Expectations

So I've been thinking a lot this summer about expectations and how I am my own worst enemy sometimes. Maybe it's the history of religion class I am taking right now that has caused me to think on it so much, but I really think one of the biggest issues I need to work on is how I cope with disappointment. I'm not even talking about major disappointments, but little things I hype up in my mind that don't pan out.

So I've made it my goal this summer to let go of expectations with attachment to results. Maybe it's all the Buddhist philosophy I've been reading for class, but the more I think on it the more I see the truth in a quote my professor introduced: "expectations are just a future resentment". I build up things in my mind and then when they don't pan out I let it negatively affect my mood and my relationships. What I end up with is resentment because I'm just too attached to what I hoped or planned would happen.

So I'm trying to let go of that attachment. I don't think there's anything wrong with having expectations. I'm a planner and will always look into the future. If I'm expecting something - whether it's what I'll do with my brother when I return to NY or how I'll do my second year in the classroom - it means I'm living in the future, which isn't reality! I need to live in the present and focus on what I have and what I can do now. I need to enjoy the time I have right now with the boy because in 3 weeks I'll be long gone from here! I will still be mindful of certain outcomes - not to be would be antithetical to who I am. But I will be mindful of them and then let them go. I'm going to stay right here where I am: in the present. And if the weather is ugly or the boy is busy or we don't go out to dinner Friday...so be it. I need to get out of the future (and while I'm at it, out of the past too) and focus on today.

Now I'm off to go read the Torah! We've gotten to the major monotheistic religions in my class and I definitely am interested in getting a deeper understanding of Judaism, which I know little about aside from the basics.

What about you? Do you have a problem with building huge expectations in your life? How do you deal when they don't plan out like you hoped? Do you think it's true that "expectations are just a possible resentment"?