Feel Good Friday

1) I'm going horseback riding tomorrow!! Yes, it's only going to be a plodding nose-to-tail trail ride, but I'm going to be back on a horse. AND I managed to convince JC to come too!

2) I finished my religion class (see previous post) and really enjoyed it! It definitely had its highs and lows, but I got much more out of the class than I anticipated when I first signed up for it.

3) I went to the beach yesterday and really enjoyed just walking along the shore. Between living in Wyoming and central Virginia, that is definitely something I haven't done for the longest time.

4) This goes along with number three, but the weather here has been beautiful this week. It has been very cloudy and grey here for most of the summer. Most days I can barely see the ocean from the back porch (that Wordless Wednesday picture was taken from the porch). This week the clouds and fog have been burning off by noon and the weather has just been perfect in the afternoon. Not so hot that I'm sweating through my clothes (like the whole East Coast), but I definitely don't have to bring 3 layers with me when I go out. Nothing like a month of clouds to make you appreciate the beauty of a blue sky!

5) My sister officially made it to her second trimester! That is probably more her good news than mine, but it makes me so happy. I am so excited for her! She has been wanting a baby and saving for a baby for a long time and I know her and her husband are going to be the best parents. And, let's face it, I'm going to be the best aunt EVER!!!

Teacher to Student

Today marked the end of my six-week summer class. It was my first experience with community college and was definitely different from any class I had ever been in. The class was in the course listing as "History of World Religions", but it was really much more of a philosophy class. I was a little disappointed at first, but I learned to embrace that it was something new and different.

I think I have been pretty up front about what a huge history dork I am, but I still don't know if you all get it. I need to take a picture of my bookshelves at home to convey the dorkiness. I'm talking shelves and shelves and shelves of history books. In college I took predominately history classes. My senior spring I think all 4 of my classes were history. Needless to say, philosophy classes were nowhere on my radar. I think the closest I got was intro to Psychology. I enrolled in this history of religion class expecting to learn the tactics Asoka used to spread Buddhism throughout southeast Asia and the details behind the Sunni/Shi'ite divide.

Instead I got a philosophy class full of high schoolers and students not much older than those I was teaching 3 months ago. There were retired professionals in their sixties, and a gentleman who was going back to college after a thirty year hiatus. There was a former Marine using his GI Bill and a 21 year old recovering drug addict. Mostly though it was students much like most of the seniors I sent off last year. Students with hopes to attend four-year universities in the future, but currently working hard to earn their credits in community college. They weren't the students I was used to sitting in class with, but they added a perspective to the class that I think I needed as a high school teacher.

I needed to be a student again and be that one person that gets it while nobody else does. I needed to be the person who has a large chunk of the lecture fly right over their head 'cos they've been absent for days. I needed to see how admirable (and not annoying) it is for a student to step up and ask what a vocabulary word you just used means. I needed to remember what it's like to sit in class every once in a while and be bored and count down the minutes until I'm free again. While I was often uncomfortable at how much my classmates shared it definitely opened my eyes up even further to all the different paths kids can take out of high school.

I will really miss my goofy hodgepodge religion class. We were a motley crew and had some very interesting conversations over the course of six weeks. I took the class for the factual content and did not expect to gain much else from it. Regardless of what happens this summer with the boy, I am truly glad I was out here this summer and I am so glad I took this class. I think every teacher needs to go back and be a student every once in a while, not surrounded by other teachers or grad students, but by real students.

Have you ever been pleasantly surprised by a school or work experience? Or had an experience that completely changed your perspective about an issue?

Wordless Wednesday

Guilty Pleasure

I just finished a rousing game of Tiger Woods Golf with the boy. I didn't do that badly for someone whose golf experience doesn't really extend past the Chip N' Putt! I was tempted to hone my skills this evening while he studied for an upcoming test, but I opted to veg out on the couch.

I'm currently watching one of my #1 guilty pleasure movies. It's a movie that came out my sophomore year of high school and currently has a 57% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. That's really not that bad considering it's really nothing more than just another silly high school drama. Drew Barrymore saves it and Michael Vartan makes for some serious eye candy! Yep, I'm talking about Never Been Kissed. I'm embarrassed to admit I actually went to go see this movie in theaters (along with such other awesome movies as She's All That and 10 Things I Hate About You).

The plot is so unbelievable and it's ridiculously silly, but it is just a movie that I always seem to get stuck on once it's on TV! I'd definitely put this and 13 Going on 30 as some of my top silly guilty pleasure movies. I could probably add a ton of movies to that list, to include Pretty Woman and Dirty Dancing, but I'm definitely not as hesitant to admit that I enjoy them as I am this film. I'm a sucker for a happy ending, I can't deny it! There are some really uncomfortably awkward moments in the movie (especially if you were a high school dork like me), but you just have to love Drew Barrymore in the role. No matter what my mood is, this movie will have me smiling by the time the credits roll. (Although it is debatable that that might just be due to looking at Michael Vartan!)



Do you have a favorite guilty pleasure movie? A movie that once you stumble upon you can never quite seem to change the channel? One that makes you smile despite yourself and that you might not admit to many people you enjoy?

Feel Good Friday

I'm changing up my Five for Friday to Feel Good Friday! I got this from my fellow bloggers, Abby and Jamie (who got it from The Girl Next Door Grows Up). All you do is make a list of 5 things that made you happy this week. Easy enough, right? Here goes...

1) I found out my teaching schedule for the year and I have a study hall! AND it is first period AND I have 2 classes that only have 12 kids AND my largest class is only 18. I love teaching in a rural school district!

2) I got another A in my religion class! Even though I only need to pass it to receive credit, I'm obviously doing my best and am pretty stoked I'm doing so well. It is different from any class I have ever taken before and philosophy is really not my thing. Go me!

3) A friend of mine, who lost part of his left leg in a bad IED blast 3 weeks ago, took his first steps (sans prosthesis) yesterday! Read his story here. He is such an inspiration and I am so proud just to know him.

4) I got to see the Golden Gate Bridge on Sunday, which is something I've been wanting to do for a loooong time. It capped off a great weekend in San Francisco with the boy.

5) I heard from so many wonderful friends on my birthday and turned 27! Let the countdown to 30 begin (at which point, according to my favorite quote ever by author John Grisham, I'll finally have to be taken seriously).

My Roomies

So I've been feeling a bit under the weather this week and the weather has been awful here in California so I've been having a lot of lazy time. I'm laying on the couch and watching Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmerman, one of my favorite Travel Channel shows, and thinking...what would make this lazy day even better? Then it came to me: my felines. I miss my cats! If I were home right now Hobbes would probably be stretched out across me right now and Journey would be curled on the blanket at the end of the couch. I can't believe it's been almost a year since I adopted them! I really only intended to get this little guy when I moved last August:



He was a cat marked "special needs" by the Humane Society 'cos he required a special and more expensive diet. He had been there for a couple months and they were starting to get doubtful he'd ever find a home. After visiting with him once I decided it was about time I had a ginger kitty in my life. As I was finalizing when I was going to pick him up, the woman from the Humane Society told me about another cat on the same diet. She was a black tuxedo, which made me hesitant as I had a tuxedo cat I loved dearly that I had put down the month before. I really only had plans to adopt a single cat, but then they went and told me that she had been at the Humane Society for over two years! I'm a huge animal lover and volunteered extensively while in grad school at the local SPCA. The adult cats and dogs who had been there for 6+ months always broke my heart and I always worked so hard to get the 'old-timers' adopted. Speaking of volunteering and helping out cats, a friend of mine has started up a blog for the strays in her area. Check it out! I don't know much about dealing with strays, but if you have any ideas for her (two of the cats are pregnant) definitely let her know.

Anyway, I went to their website and saw the picture of "Felicia" (I renamed her Journey) in her cage. This was her home for over 2 years:

Even though I said I wanted to meet her first, I knew I'd end up bringing her home and sure enough I did! She has plumped up extensively since that photo was taken a couple years ago and is quite the fat kitty now (though on her last visit she only weighed in at 12.5 lbs). They brought her and Hobbes (originally "Samson") to PetSmart and I just fell in love with both of them. And that's how my ginger kitty, Hobbes, and my big fat girl, Journey, came into my life. They can certainly drive me crazy (don't all roommates?), but they have been a wonderful addition in my life and I love coming home to them at the end of the day.

Wordless Wednesday

Expectations

So I've been thinking a lot this summer about expectations and how I am my own worst enemy sometimes. Maybe it's the history of religion class I am taking right now that has caused me to think on it so much, but I really think one of the biggest issues I need to work on is how I cope with disappointment. I'm not even talking about major disappointments, but little things I hype up in my mind that don't pan out.

So I've made it my goal this summer to let go of expectations with attachment to results. Maybe it's all the Buddhist philosophy I've been reading for class, but the more I think on it the more I see the truth in a quote my professor introduced: "expectations are just a future resentment". I build up things in my mind and then when they don't pan out I let it negatively affect my mood and my relationships. What I end up with is resentment because I'm just too attached to what I hoped or planned would happen.

So I'm trying to let go of that attachment. I don't think there's anything wrong with having expectations. I'm a planner and will always look into the future. If I'm expecting something - whether it's what I'll do with my brother when I return to NY or how I'll do my second year in the classroom - it means I'm living in the future, which isn't reality! I need to live in the present and focus on what I have and what I can do now. I need to enjoy the time I have right now with the boy because in 3 weeks I'll be long gone from here! I will still be mindful of certain outcomes - not to be would be antithetical to who I am. But I will be mindful of them and then let them go. I'm going to stay right here where I am: in the present. And if the weather is ugly or the boy is busy or we don't go out to dinner Friday...so be it. I need to get out of the future (and while I'm at it, out of the past too) and focus on today.

Now I'm off to go read the Torah! We've gotten to the major monotheistic religions in my class and I definitely am interested in getting a deeper understanding of Judaism, which I know little about aside from the basics.

What about you? Do you have a problem with building huge expectations in your life? How do you deal when they don't plan out like you hoped? Do you think it's true that "expectations are just a possible resentment"?

Five for Friday

1. You bring me a glass of juice to bed
2. You're appreciative
3. You pick me up from class every day when you don’t have to
4. You like to cook (or at least try to!)
5. You got me a birthday present we can enjoy together

35 By 35

So I'm stealing yet another thing from Bri. She did a list of 30 things to do before she turns 30. Seeing as I turn 27 in four days, I extended the list to 35 things to do before I turn 35. Some of it might be a bit ambitious, but why not dream big?

1. Excel in my career
2. Run a a marathon
3. Learn another language
4. Read the Bible
5. Still be a student
6. Return to Colby for my 10 year college reunion
7. Travel to 2 more continents
8. Adopt a dog
9. Become an equestrian
10. Get married
11. Become a homeowner
12. Start a family
13. Travel to the remaining 50 states I haven't been to
14. Spend a week camping in a national park
15. Own a piano
16. Have a garden
17. Cook a Thanksgiving dinner by myself
18. Find a church I like and can go to on a regular basis
19. Be the best aunt EVER!
20. Go fishing
21. Learn yoga
22. Learn how to change my own oil
23. Take up a martial art
24. Be a regular (and not just sporadic) contributor to my favorite charities
25. See the Grand Canyon
26. Spend another summer at the Ranch
28. Learn to drive a stick shift (well)
29. Throw an awesome 30th anniversary celebration for my parents
30. Experience as many other cultures as possible
31. Learn how to knit or quilt
32. See as many Oscar winning movies as possible
33. Go on a hot air balloon ride
34. Learn how (and have enough patience) to play golf
35. Go to Las Vegas

Making New Friends

I realized this weekend while out to dinner with the boy and his friends how much I enjoy meeting new people. This is something that ten years ago I would never have said. I was incredibly shy and quiet all through high school. I was not the type of person who would agree to go on blind dates, or introduce myself to someone I didn't know, strike up a conversation with someone in line at the grocery store. I hated speaking in class and any/all attention drawn towards me. I had a tight group of friends and that was about it. I didn't feel the need to seek out or make new friends at any point in high school. In a lot of ways, a lot of that is true. I still have a core group of friends - whether it's my college pals, ranch friends, grad school friends - that I rely on. So much about me has changed in the last decade though.

I was trying to figure out when this change occurred. If you ask my college pals they'll tell you it was after I went skydiving in Switzerland at age 18. They swear I came back from that and was a much more effervescent and outgoing person. But when I look back I really don't think I was that different a person in college than I was in high school. I was still, in many ways, still very insecure and quiet. I still hated speaking up in class and dreaded the thought of going to a party where I knew no one.

I think my two years at the Ranch were really important and helped me gain a new sense of independence. I started to realize I could do things I never thought I could. Whether it was learning to drive a stick shift the hard way, operating a chain saw or fixing a 1/4 mile stretch of fence all by myself. I also met an insane amount of new people. I had to get along with coworkers who were very different from me. I had to take teenagers and adults out on rides and, not only teach them how to ride and make sure they arrived back at the Ranch safely, but I had to talk and entertain them for 2 1/2 hours. I look back and see a very marked change in myself after my time at the Ranch. I was more social and outgoing, but most of all, I was much more confident.

I think my first boyfriend (and consequent first heartbreak) after college was a really important experience. It sounds odd that getting your heart broken could build confidence, but I really think it did. I realized a lot about myself that has played such an important part in my relationship now. Getting dumped sucked, but it is beyond true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Now I'm living on my own and the girl who hated speaking in class does just that all day long. I've been on blind dates and done things 10 years ago Abigail would have never done. I coach track and go to dinner parties and get-togethers where I don't know anyone. And I love meeting new people! I've made good friends with the wife of one of JC's classmates in the last couple weeks. She and her husband hosted a dinner party a few weeks ago. I gave her my number 'cos I figured we were both home alone all day while our men were in school. We met up for lunch one day and had such a blast we've become great pals. I think it surprised the boy a bit last night when we met up with her and her friends and husband. Honestly, I surprise myself at how easily and how much I enjoy making new friends. I used to hate leaving places all the time 'cos I hated leaving friends behind. In fact, my friends and family can testify that when I left the Ranch to go to grad school I said something along the lines of 'I don't want to make any friends, I just want to get my degree and move on'. That's laughable now when I think about the awesome friends I made at school and how much I enjoy making new ones. It's comforting to know that wherever I go and whatever happens, I have a network of friends all around the country who have my back and I can always make new ones!

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

Five For Friday

Thought I'd try something new for a change. I stole this from my friend Bri's blog (http://mylifeasbrianne.blogspot.com) and thought it would be fun. I'm not sure what the future holds for the boy and me, but I do know a few things. So here we go...

1. You know the best kinds of weekends are the ones where you do nothing.
2. You’re as competitive as I am and never let me win anything (and I love you for it).
3. You always smell great.
4. When you set your mind on something, I know there’s no doubt you will attain it.
5. You love to learn.

The Best Horse In the World

I found a couple places to horseback ride in the Monterey area and am hoping I can get onto a horse soon. JC and I were supposed to go to a San Francisco Giants-Mets game on my birthday next weekend, but I really want to go riding. We'll see. I miss being around horses so much. The horse that is in all those pictures in my last post is a horse that came to the ranch during my first winter out there. The ranch buys all its horses from auction and they often come to the ranch in less than perfect conditions. This horse, who I named Orangejello or Jello for short, was a real headcase. He clearly had suffered a pretty serious case of neglect, was pretty skinny and had the permanent mark of a halter on his head and was very head shy (did not like his head or ears touched at all). We think someone just put the halter on and left him out there. It kills me the way some people treat animals.

Anyway, when spring finally arrives at the Ranch there is sooo much stuff to do. We have to fix fence, clear trail, fix saddles, shoe and vaccinate the horses and all that. Well, I will never forget when Jello became my horse. On shoeing day, we have to tie all the horses up along the fenceline inside the corral. Jello untied himself about 4 times and was causing all kinds of trouble. By the end of the day they just had to turn him loose in the round pen. My boss pointed at him and just asked, “you want him?” Now how it works at the Ranch is the wranglers always end up with all the horses we can’t put guests on. Most of the “best of the worst” are already taken by the veteran wranglers. I wasn’t about to turn away what looked like a perfectly sound and athletic-looking horse.

See how athletic (if not always a little on the skinny side)?

So I took on Jello as my horse for the summer. He had a host of problems aside from his ability to untie himself and his issues with having his head and ears touched. He was a HUGE scaredy cat. He’d never seen buffalo or elk before (which we see ALL the time on rides). He’d never crossed water, never opened or closed a gate before, never been ridden bareback, never swam in the water. He was afraid of everything! Scary looking rocks, scary looking logs, scary looking holes in the ground. He was a serious head case. My kids (the teenagers I took out) took to calling him “Ronald” (like Ron Weasley from Harry Potter) ‘cos he was a redhead and a big scaredy cat. I just loved him to death though! I spent HOURS working with him on my lunch break, after work, on my day off. By the end of 2 years I turned him into a helluva trail horse and was so sad to leave him.

A sad, sad day...my last ever ride on him

I got to reunite with him briefly in 2008 on a drive cross-country and then again last year when I was out in Wyoming for my sister’s wedding. Unfortunately, that was the last time I ever saw him and, sadly, the last time I ever will. He had some issues with his new rider last summer and had a couple accidents and the Ranch deemed him a ‘dangerous horse’ and ‘liability’. So they sold him : ( . It makes me unbelievably sad. He taught me how to be a better rider and I’m so proud of what a great trail horse I turned him into. I know it’s silly, but I wanted to buy him one day. I hope he’s alive and happy wherever he is and has a new owner who is as patient with him as I was and appreciates what an awesome horse he is. He is a big scaredy cat, but if you build up a relationship with him he will do WHATEVER you ask him to. And believe me on the teen ride, I made him do some pretty crazy things! We race through the water, go swimming bareback, ride along cliffs like this, climb HUGE vertical mountains, go down crazy inclines. And if he trusts you, he’ll do it all and more. I know it’s stupid, but I feel like I let him down ‘cos I wasn’t there to vouch for him. If I were still there and continued to ride him I know they never would have gotten rid of him.

I miss you buddy! and hope you are fat and happy wherever you are!

My Favorite Place in the World

I've been MIA from this blog for just about a month and an awful lot has happened. The school year ended and I have been officially hired on for next year. I'm out in California for the summer with the boy and have been having a blast relaxing and doing a bit of sightseeing (but mostly just relaxing). I have been meaning to blog for a while, but wasn’t quite sure where to start.

I think one of the reasons my blog was on hiatus for so long is because I wasn't quite sure what I wanted it to be. Most blogs have specific niches - a wellness blog, a teaching blog, a running blog, a baby blog. I didn't really know what I wanted my focus to be. So from here on out, I'm just going to talk about me and my life in general, however uneventful it may be.

I figure a great place to start would be with my favorite place in the world, a place that if you spend any time with me you will find comes up in conversation an awful lot and that I simply refer to as “the Ranch”. I have to admit that I’m a bit pleased that while I am enjoying my stay in California it still doesn’t hold a candle to “the Ranch”. The Ranch is Triangle X Ranch, a guest ranch in Moose, Wyoming (just north of Jackson) that I first journeyed to on a family vacation back in 1997. My family of six returned every year, though the number of people dwindled each time. First my oldest brother opted not to return, then my dad decided a week of horseback riding just wasn’t his thing, then my sister went out there to work (she never left and is now married and about to start a family there), then my other brother could no longer take the time off. All in all, I came to the ranch as a guest for seven years before I started working out there myself my junior year of college. I was a glorified toilet scrubber and bed maker, but I loved every minute and returned after I graduated. I loved it so much that I stayed out there through the fall, winter and spring.

Pushing out the herd in the summer (photo courtesy of John Schairer)

The herd moving across the pasture in the fall

The ranch in winter

That summer I was promoted from toilet scrubbed extraordinaire to "teen wrangler" whose job was to teach every teenager that was a guest on the ranch (like I used to be) how to ride a horse and to make sure they had a fabulous week. I had always been a horse lover, but never rode seriously so it was a dream. My biggest problem of the day was whether or not to take my ride into the mountains or down to the river to swim with the horses. I stayed out there for two full years after graduation ‘living the dream’ before I decided to move on and go to graduate school. Sometimes I wish I’d stayed a few years longer, but I’m grateful for the time that I had out there. I look at my boyfriend who went right from college to his job in the military or my friends who went right to a full-time job and I realize how lucky I am.

This horse was my best friend for 2 years

The Ranch is and will always be my happy place, my own personal paradise. I know if life were ever to get rough or I were to get fired from my job that I could return to the Ranch and have a place there. I have family out there now, a sister and brother-in-law (and soon a niece or nephew). Just last week I received a phone call from my former boss offering me my old position. I turned it I down simply because of logistics, money and the fact that I already planned to spend my summer out here with the boy. We won’t get many opportunities to spend time together like this so I have to take every opportunity I can. It’s nice to know that after almost 3 years they still remember me. To this day they say I was the only teen wrangler who ever enjoyed being around teenagers that much. I talk and think about the Ranch all the time so it is comforting to know they think of me too.